Never Do Laundry Under the Guard Light (repost)

(image from allposters.com)

Never Do Laundry Under the Guard Light
OR
Ways to Entertain Your Neighbors on a Summer’s Eve

As I said in a previous post, we are up to our eyeballs in green beans, carrots, turnips and a cow with mastitis.  I still did some laundry today because it just isn’t worth it to get behind, especially when you have three children who aren’t afraid to get dirty.  So I did a couple of loads today between other tasks.  Well tonight, while the beans were in the pressure canner, Mr P asked if I had taken the clothes off the line.  I remembered that, in fact, I had not.  So I headed outside with a laundry basket in order to quickly gather the clothes off the line.  It is a warm  night with a slight breeze and the moon is just a sliver so it is pretty dark.  Never fear though, we have a guard light.  A tall light on a utility pole that comes on at dark and turns off at day break.  It is quite near my laundry line so this alleviated my fears of stepping on one of the friendly rattlesnakes that like to live here. 
At the clothes line I realized that snakes are my least fear.  There were small bugs on the clothespins.  Oh wait, they were FLYING bugs.  I really, really hate flying bugs.  I hate them so much that I generally scream like a little girl when they fly near me.  Really, just ask my friend Cathy who got quite a giggle one day when I tried to get away from honey bees on a field trip.  By the way, bugs that sting scare me even more than plain ol’ flying bugs. 
So I bravely tap the clothes pin, shoulders tense and legs ready to run the other way, and the bugs fly off.  "Good," I thought.  But then I realized the laundry was literally covered with these small black flying bugs.  I didn’t know what kind they were so I assumed that they sting and are possibly even venomous.  Better safe than sorry, I always say.  Well, not really, but when it comes to bugs and snakes, this is definitely my motto.  
After a few good shakes, carefully aimed away from my body, I folded the first t-shirt and put it in the basket.  Good, one shirt done only a couple dozen more to go.  The next thing I knew I was dodging flying bugs who were aiming for my hair and shirt.  Apparently the smell of sweat and garden attracted these critters.
I managed to get several more t-shirts folded when I decided to pretend I’m Elizabeth Bennett in Pride and Prejudice.  Why? Because I’m trying to overcome my fear of the flying, possibly stinging and venomous bugs, of course.  That’s why.  And the best way I can think of is to pretend or think about something else.  Pride and Prejudice is the first thing that pops in my mind.  There is a scene in the movie where Elizabeth is taking laundry from a line in the rain.  I was actually wishing it was raining so the bugs would be hidden. 
While I was distracted with thoughts of Pride and Prejudice, I was hit by another bug, in the hair.  Yikes.  I did a really big little, "all shook up" Elvis Presley dance, but to no avail.  The "bug" was still there.  I began to squeal and beat myself silly whack my head with my free hand and continued doing so until I realize that the "bug" is really a bobby pin.  Smooth move, I thought.  Then I realized that the neighbors were enjoying an evening on their front porch and thanks to the guard light’s illumination, I must have been giving them quite a show. 
Well, the last couple of garments came down uneventfully.  So once again I realized that I really must get over my fear of bugs and even then I don’t plan on doing laundry under the guard light ever again.  Next time I forget to bring the laundry in, I’ll send Mr. P.  He isn’t afraid of anything.

Blessings,
Mrs. P