Wednesday, July 11, 2012

I've Fallen and I Can't Get Up! (REPOST)

     After last week, I'm  considering wearing a life alert button.  Even though I'm in my late 30's (well really just mere inches away from 40, but who's counting!) a recent fall showed me that I very well might need one.  You know that someone who lives alone would be the candidate for this, but did you know moms with little children might be as well?  I think they need a new commercial with a mom who has fallen in the dark in the upstairs loft.  And then the video could pan to the husband asleep downstairs with his loud fan in his face, up to the son who is also sleeping soundly with the fan in his face and then back to the mom, laying on the floor writhing in pain, and back to the girls room, where despite a puppy barking and cat pacing, both girls are sleeping soundly.  Yes, that is a whole new market that those life alert people haven't even considered.  And I am here to tell you that this can and did actually happen!

had the baby in baby boot camp
 have been transitioning the baby to his upstairs room from my bedroom.  In order to keep from going up and down the stairs a half dozen or so times a night, I was just sleeping on the couch upstairs.  I do know my limitations enough to know that I can't traverse the stairs in the dark half asleep, without some sort of accident.  I am just a wee bit accident prone, after all.  What I didn't know is that I am equally unsafe on level ground.  The first three nights of baby boot camp the transition went well.  When the baby got up, I would switch on the night light, attend to him and put him peacefully back to bed.  It was the 4th night that did me in.  The baby had actually slept until 3:30.  He slept from 9 pm until 3:30 and that meant that I had also slept more than 3 hours straight.  This was huge.  The baby had a series of ear infections back about 2 months ago and since that time, his sleeping schedule has been deathly less than desirable, thus the baby boot camp transition.  So I don't know if in my state of deep REM sleep, which I had not experienced in quite some time, or just through general stupidity (I don't claim to be overly smart) I decided I could navigate upstairs without the night light.  Very quickly I found out that I could not.  There is nothing quite so bad as knowing that you are falling and there is no way to stop the process.  And unlike when other people explain something as being over in an instant.  This fall was not that way.  It was in slow motion.  First I hit the childcraft encyclopedia and stumbled, only to find the file box with my knee.  At which point, it was all over for me.  I had no way to recover at that point.  I just did the best I could to protect the baby, who was completely safe and survived without a scratch even though I was holding him the entire time.  He only woke briefly to let me know he didn't appreciate our detour on the way to his bed.
     At this point, the puppy is barking like crazy and I'm wailing...just a little...ok a lot.  I kept thinking, my toe is really hurting badly.  I expected with the noise of my fall, the puppy barking, the baby crying, and my wailing that someone would get up and check on me.  Um.  NO.  Not one single human in my house came to my rescue.  The cat did come to investigate, but even the puppy quit barking and went back to sleep.  I called my son for about 5 minutes, before I realized that I would have better luck waking the dead.  Then I called Miss A.  And finally from the dark, I hear, "Yes, ma'am."  I told her to come quickly that I was hurt.  When she walks in she says, "I wondered what that noise was?" Really???  She heard the crash, yet lay silently in her bed???? So I had her turn on the night light so I could see my toe.  Sadly, the toe nail was half on and half off.  I sent her to get Mr. P and very quickly he came upstairs.  And truly, his rising from a deep sleep this quickly was nothing more than miraculous intervention from the Lord.  He does not wake in the night for anything.  So after commenting on my housekeeping and offering me a set of pliers, 
I threw the childcraft encyclopedia at him
 went downstairs to wait until daylight and figure out what to do about my poor toe.
     It turns out that the toe nail had to be removed and I have the utmost respect for podiatrists now.  Especially podiatrists that will come into their office to do such a task on Father's Day afternoon.  May God  bless that doctor!  The rest of my leg is nice shades of black, blue, and green and the toe is still pretty sore.  I guard it with my life, due to certain small people in my home who are determined to step on the poor nailess toe.  And I never ever will sleep without a night light on.  And as soon as my toe can handle wearing anything more than a flip flop, I intend to sleep in tennis shoes for ultimate toe nail protection.  And I might be looking into getting a life alert....just in case...


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