Tuesday, November 20, 2012

FYI...Don't Search "maternity" on Pinterest

One cute top found on pinterest whose only flaw is the plunging neckline...and that it would only fit until you are about 7 months pregnant.  :-)

Just so you know and are warned.  If you search "maternity" on pinterest you will NOT get a collection of fashionable maternity clothes.  You will instead get artsy photos of every naked pregnant woman out on the internet.  And sometimes they were so thoughtful as to include their naked husband in the photo as well.  ?!?!?!  Seriously?  I wouldn't pose nude when I'm not pregnant and let me just say that regardless of how all those naked preggos feel, their pregnant tummy doesn't really improve their nude photos.  So all of that to say, if you are searching for "not ugly" maternity clothes, just skip the internet all together - better to prevent the trauma I've just experienced - and head to a maternity store and actually try on some clothes.  Because truly, until you try it on, you can't tell anything.  I have a certain maternity sweater that was absolutely adorable on the JC Penney website.  However, in reality, it's pretty much hideous...couple that with the enormous prices on maternity clothes and it's a situation that I just don't care to repeat.  I did clarify my search and put maternity fashion, but it also yielded very little that a mom my age would actually consider wearing, much less purchasing.

Also, another FYI...since I'm sharing and all...don't take your 14 year old with you and then certainly don't add in a toddler with a poopy pull-up and your diaper bag is in the car.  (I thought I'd just run in really quickly and grab a top and a pair of pants.)  Regardless of how many times you explain it, the 14 year old will never understand that as a 40 year old, you will not and should not wear maternity fashions designed with the 20 year old in mind.  In other words, I didn't do skin tight with plunging necklines at 20, so I probably should not start now!  Although it might detract from my graying hair.  And the poopy toddler will just smell worse by the minute, as well as begin to get fussy.  He won't care that the maternity store only has ONE check out and the line is 4 people long with a super chatty sales person.  In fact, he will just start announcing that he has pooped his pants and needs a new pull-up.  His volume may even increase the longer you stand in line.  And you may or may not take turns standing in the mall area with the other children, who have located "dipping dots" and trading spots in line with your husband just hoping that you can somehow get out of the maternity store in one piece, without anymore of a scene than has already happened.   Because let me just say that 20 something, 10 week pregnant girls and their hubbies can surely give some looks!  And then the checker may want you to come and choose a "free" top because you bought 2 and one more is free!  But, the poopy toddler and middle kids in the mall asking if they can have dipping dots is about to put you over the edge.  So you glance around to see if there is anything that might work, while the toddler escapes.  After you chase him and catch him under a rack, the sales clerk comes to say that she made a mistake and you really don't get a free top. And then you will say thank you and get to the car hoping that you bought things that will work out after the 15 minute speech on the non-return-ability of maternity clothes by the friendly sales clerk.  And at this point, you just really have forgotten all about ugly maternity and decide that ugly will be ok as long as it fits, because fashion just isn't worth the shopping trip you just barely survived.

Just thought I'd share in case there are other 40 year olds out there pregnant with #5 and looking for some sort of modest, yet un-hideous maternity fashion.

Mrs. P

No comments:

Post a Comment